Random Post of the Day #20

No Talkshow Tuesday today, unfortunately. I was too absorbed with finishing Merlin and I??? I cry but not really I’m so confused help I’m so sad Merlin aRTHUR MORGANA NO STOP.

I also need to be given a couple for TT. Seriously, people, I was counting on you.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Random Post of the Day #?

Not knowing when your period is is friggin’ terrifying. Like, you think it’s coming on, so you put on a pad, and then when it doesn’t appear, you take off said pad, and then woah, suddenly there’s a red Niagara Falls in your underwear.

Periods are so unfair, seriously, why can’t I just politely inform my uterus not to start anything just yet ’cause I don’t want a baby?

Apologies if this post disturbed anyone’s ~delicate sensibilities~ while I was talking about the odd stuff my body does.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Talk Show Tuesdays – Albus and Gellert

[applause as the title of the show flashes by and Star enters in a fancy black shirt and nice black pants]

STAR: Hello, hello, and welcome to Talk Show Tuesday, with Star, the Relationship Insultant! [drops a wink][laugh track] Lovely, as always, to be here with you. Now, my moon cheeses, will you please welcome the magical men, wizards of exceptional good and horrendous evil…[drumroll sound effect] Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindlewald!

[applause, loud music plays as the camera zooms in on the tube to the side. A door slides open, and two relatively handsome guys stumble out]

STAR: Just look at them! Aren’t they lovely?

GELLERT: What? Where are we? Who’re you?!

ALBUS: You sure you didn’t Apparate us, Gellert?

GELLERT: Yeah, definitely.

STAR: Hush, hush. You’re on my show, loves. I’m Star. Odd name, I know, but let’s pass over that, ’cause you’re the stars of this show! [laugh track]

GELLERT: Who’re you talking to? The whole place is e-

STAR: Shut up, my dear wizardly fool. Now, audience, Albus and Gellert are wizards. Albus was a student at Hogwarts, Gellert used to go to Durmstrang.

ALBUS: Wait, how did you know that? Are you a witch? That seems to be the only plausible explanation, but how did you get us here? You must have had to use some seriously advanced magic to summon us or…whatever you did.

GELLERT: Albus, I would advise against talking to her.

STAR: Very good question, Dumblydore, but one that I can’t answer, ’cause why the heck would I know what goes on in my show? [laugh track]

GELLERT: Where’s the noise c-

STAR: You’re just as bad as Amy, honestly, the people I get on this show. Anyway, the first question is in, and it is…which of you made the first move?

GELLERT and ALBUS: What?

STAR: Y’know, which of you asked the other out first, or kissed the other, or made some romantic gesture.

ALBUS: I don’t…we don’t…I don’t know what you’re talking about.

GELLERT: We’re not in a relationship.

ALBUS: Definitely not.

STAR: Uh-huh. Listen to these two jokers, thinking they can lie to an experienced young lady like me. [wink][laugh track]

GELLERT: Okay, seriously, this is getting terrifying.

ALBUS: But we’re definitely not dating.

GELLERT: Of course not.

STAR: @#!%.

ALBUS: Oh my god.

STAR: [clears throat] Sorry. Are you sure you’re not dating? That you won’t date in the near future?

ALBUS:…

GELLERT:…

STAR: Yup, I’ve gotten them from a different point in time…or universe. Don’t know which. Sorry, audience, that’s it for the day! This has been Talk Show Tuesdays with Star, the Relationship Insultant! [laugh track][applause][she herds Gellert and Albus to the chute]

[heavy instrumental rock version of ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ ends the show]

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Talk Show Tuesdays – Rory and Amy

[applause as the title of the show flashes by and Star in a suit appears]

STAR: Hello, hello, and welcome to Talk Show Tuesday, with Star, the Relationship Insultant! [drops a wink][laugh track] Thank you. Now, will you please welcome our esteemed guests, the timey-wimey lovers who are always out of time…[drumroll sound effect] Amy and Rory Pond!

[applause]

[Amy and Rory stumble through a disguised door, looking confused and the tiniest bit furious]

AMY: Where the h*ll are we?

STAR: Now, now, Amy, no cursing on the show, or we’ll have to bleep it out, and that just adds a whole extra load to my job. [clears throat and straightens tie] Right, how are you two doing?

RORY: Fine, but…I’ve got to echo Amy, where the…heck…are we?

STAR: See? He’s polite! You’re on my show, Roranicus Pondicus. I’m Star, and we all know who you are! But now, let’s get on to the purpose of this segment. Rory, I hear you waited two thousand years outside of a box for your wife. Is that true?

RORY: It is, although I don’t know how you know that.

AMY: Where’s the Doctor? Doctor! If this is a trick, I swear to God I’m going to kill you!

STAR: Death threats are encouraged, my dear ginger. We love them! I just can’t get enough of them, according to the previous guests! [laugh track] That was funny, wasn’t it. Anyway, back to you, Rory. When the lovely Ms. Pond exited the Pandorica, did she thank you?

RORY: I…of course she did!

AMY: Of course!

RORY: She just didn’t have much time when she first got out of the box, we were caught up with a lot of things, like the Daleks.

STAR: Alright, whatever you say. That’s a pretty flat excuse, though, you should probably work on those. And you, Amy. Word around here is that you kissed the Doctor…well, you kissed the Doctor the night before your wedding! [collective gasp from the audience] What was it that prompted you to commit such an act?

AMY: I really don’t think that’s any of your business, you little…pipsqueak!

STAR: Calling me short? I think that’s a little…low of you. Eh? Eh? [wiggles eyebrows][laugh track] I’m friggin’ hilarious. No answer to that? Pity, this episode is turning out to be a bit of a bore. Another question, though, for you both. You two partake in quite a lot of rather heavy snogging. Now, most couples I know enjoy a bit of hugging and cuddling, but you two just go at it right away the minute you see each other! Is it the fact that you two don’t share the profound bond that most partners do? Do you two attack each others mouths at every opportunity to hide the fact that the flame of romance has since dwindled into barely-alive, bloody, gory embers, stained with the fluids of your rotting attraction?

RORY: Oh…my god.

STAR: You’re looking a bit unsteady there, my good Roman. Fine, how about we talk about your child- oh, wait, have you gotten there yet?

AMY: Alright, you know what? We’re leaving. Right now. I can’t believe this, leave the TARDIS for one minute and you get attacked by an insane child! [she storms to the place where the door once was, dragging Rory]

STAR: Well, this puts a damper on my mood. Fine, get out of here, you two were completely abysmal on this show. Simply awful. Audience, take note, and remind me not to invite these two nerds again. [laugh track] Heh.

[door opens, and Amy and Rory fly up a ‘tube’ of sorts with a cut-off cry]

STAR: Beware of Weeping Angels, you two! [laugh track] Pathetic, wasn’t that? Tune in next Tuesday for another Talk Show with Star, the Relationship Insultant! [laugh track] Hopefully it’ll be more interesting than this one was! Which pair would you like to star on this show? Canon or non-canon, gay or straight…anything but non-fiction!

[instrumental heavy rock version of ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ begins to play before the segment ends]

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | 2 Comments

A Little Help

Okay, first of all, I’m planning on making a new series on here (woah, how many series can you make, Star? The answer is a lot. I will make a lot and be very lazy with updating them) where I criticize and also study fictional (canon and non-canon) relationships, so I need a pairing to begin with, so if you could comment below on which possible pairing you would like, I’d love that. ^^

Also, in the book I am currently writing, there is a character who has been locked in a room for his entire life, and I’m wondering if any of you lovely people have any information regarding how a person would act once out of said room? Any mannerisms, appearance changes, etcetera.

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Reactions: Episode 2 – Doctor Who (s8e1)

I must admit, I did have some misgivings about the new Doctor. I hadn’t really had a chance to see much of his acting beforehand, and I did like Eleven (although Nine still holds the place of my favorite).

However, I am delighted to say that I did, in fact, like him!

Seriously, he’s absolutely ridiculous.

On another note, I was overjoyed by the appearance of Jenny, Vastra, and Strax! Strax didn’t have much of a role in this episode, but I was really pleased to have more interaction with the girls, and to see them get a bit more fleshed out as characters instead of the Doctor’s helpers.

Plus, they kissed. Which was awesome, even if it was just to share breath. What cuties. They should, honestly, kiss some more. They’re married. And remember Rory and Amy?

*collective groan from the audience at the reminder of the countless making out that went on between those two*

Going to Clara, I’m going to have to put out there that my interest in her as a character was cooling. This episode changed it. I especially loved the scene where she was talking with Vastra and got really angry, which is something we definitely haven’t seen before.

The plot was interesting enough, although I didn’t understand the ending? What happened? Who is that woman? What’s going on??

For the start of the season, it was definitely good. Maybe not the best, but still pretty good.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Random Post of the Day #18

First of all, I would like to recommend this cake http://honestcooking.com/cookie-dough-brownie-cake/ as the literal best cake I have ever had the fortune to taste. It’s fantastic, a bit salty, very sweet, and chocolate-y to the core.

Next, I would like to say that while I do think that when I am older, I will be one of those people who uses swear words as part of everyday speech, at my current age, doing so is prohibited by my parents, so here is a convenient substitute swear.

-Frick frack diddly dack

Thirdly, I have a lovely green and silver locket that kind of looks like it has a cross on it, with celtic knot designs, that opens up to reveal a small capsule used to contain poison.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment